How Dirty Is Your Mind?

By: Teresa M.

5 Min Quiz

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Get your mind out of the gutter! Or don't! Here at Zoo, we encourage a little out of the box thinking - no matter where you fall on the dirty mind scale. In fact, this quiz is designed to tell you exactly how dirty your mind might be. If there were thought bubbles above your head, would it be enough to make your mother faint? Let us be the judge.

You might be the type that cannot look at an office copier without seeing something sexual, or you might have an imaginary halo above your head. During this quiz, we're going to put you to the test! We will ask you some obviously naughty questions, and we'll ask you some not so nasty questions. The way you choose to respond will tell us more about you than we care to admit. However, we'll be happy to keep your secrets to ourselves as we tell you just how filthy the recesses of your mind are. We're true professionals with this kind of thing!

Try not to giggle too much, and give us your honest answers on every question. We're looking forward to seeing how dirty your mind can get! Well, we're mostly looking forward to it. Are you?

What do you think when you see someone eating a banana?

I think naughty thoughts.

I think about monkeys.
I think they must be hungry.

I think that I want a banana.

Which word do you find least sexy?

Hairy

Nasty
Sweaty

Steamy

Do you have a stash of dirty magazines?

I do!

I'm not 14.
I did when I was younger.

I do not.

What does the word "buns" make you think of?

Buttocks

Hamburgers
Cinnabon

Sir Mix-a-Lot

Have you ever posed inappropriately with a mannequin?

Who hasn't?

I have once.
Of course, I haven't.

No, but I have a lot of life left to live.

How often do you think about sex while at work?

Approximately ever 5 seconds.

At least once an hour.
A couple of times.

Once every few hours.

What is your most dominant personality trait?

Sexiness

Honesty
Friendliness

Compassion

Which word makes you giggle the most?

Melons

Fanny
Chesticles

Willy

Do you know any dirty jokes?

I know plenty of them.

I know a few.
I don't know any.

I know one, but I'm not sure it's all that dirty.

How often do you talk about sex with your best friend?

Every day

At least once a week
Never

Once in a while

What is the last thing you think about before going to sleep?

I think about sex.

I think about how to stop my partner's snoring.
I think about tomorrow's schedule.

I think about going to sleep.

Does music ever put you in the mood?

Music always puts me in the mood.

It depends on the music.
Music doesn't really do that for me.

I think it's a good mood enhancer.

How do you distract yourself from thinking dirty thoughts?

I don't.

I think about my parents having sex.
I think about my job.

I think about a movie I watched.

How would your friends describe your sense of humor?

Alarming

Hilarious
Dry

Weird

How many nights a week do you have naughty dreams?

5-7

1-3
0

4

Which food most makes you think dirty thoughts?

Cucumber

Carrot
Peach

Whipped cream

How many days a week do you get lucky?

0-2

3-4
7

5-6

Would you say you are flirtatious?

I flirt with everyone that will speak to me.

I am a little flirtatious.
I'm flirtatious with my partner.

I'm not all that flirtatious.

What do you find most attractive in others?

Booty

Wit
Intelligence

Sense of adventure

What do you call breasts most often?

Hooters

Boobs
Breasts

Jugs

Could you ever be a gynecologist?

I would laugh too much.

It depends how much it pays.
I'm not into medicine.

I could never be a doctor.

Do you have dirty thoughts when you see your favorite actor or actress?

I sure do!

I do sometimes.
Not really.

If it's a sex scene, I do.

Which person in your life would you like to see act out a sex scene?

My attractive coworker

My goofy best friend
Anyone but me

My hilarious neighbor

What do you think when you see an attractive person pick something up?

Do it again!

I hope that didn't break.
I wonder if I can help.

This is a good chance to make a move.

Which movie do you think has the best sex scene?

"Black Swan"

"Boogie Nights"
"The Notebook"

"Gone Girl"

What do you think when you hear that a friend is pregnant?

They had sex!

Better my friend than me!
That's so amazing!

I wonder if she'll get fat.

What gift would you bring to a first date?

Sexy underwear

Flowers
Chocolate

A book

How do you behave on the beach?

I wear dark glasses so I can take in the view.

I focus on my friends.
I compare myself to others.

I have as much fun as I can.

Would you say you are aggressive in the sack?

I hold back a lot.

I'm usually aggressive.
I'm aggressive sometimes.

I'm more passive.

Do you listen to a lot of racy music?

I do.

Some of it is racy.
I don't think it's racy.

My mom might think it's racy.

6 Minute Quiz 6 Min

About Zoo

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