By Zoe Samuel on May 11, 2018
We all know that you are an abstemious person. You never drink beyond the recommended guidelines for your body weight and type: indeed, you have never even approached those limits. That's because you always make excellent choices and have the ironclad discipline of a virtuous person who plans ahead. You eat your five fruit and vegetable servings a day, work out five days a week, never smoked, and your idea of a big night is enjoying a small glass of wine with a nutritious home-cooked dinner.
That said, let's pretend just for fun that you might occasionally dabble in the dangerous waters of indulgence. Let's briefly entertain the idea that you have, very sporadically, an urge that you cannot or will not conquer, to get bladdered, as the Brits put it. You're going to overdo it to the point of blacking out, confessing your love for several of your friends and more than one lamppost, and then give away your car keys to the nearest stranger as you responsibly inform them that you are far too merry to get behind the wheel.
In this purely hypothetical situation, which naturally would never actually occur and certainly didn't get plastered all over social media, to your eternal shame, it's possible that the evening may involve chowing down on your very favorite diet-busting snack or three. Let's see if we can figure out what this (again, very imaginary!) meal might entail.